Chocolate Vegetables’s Weblog

I didn’t have a traumatic childhood in the sense that someone was abusive towards me or that some big drama happened but I didn’t have a settled childhood. We seemed to always be moving and it wasn’t just once a year, it was irregular and just whenever dad finished the job at the place we were at and we needed to move to the next one. For me it felt like I could never set down roots, that I was always in a kid’s version of crisis, not knowing what was going to happen next and where we would be.

Now as an adult it seems like that is the way I am comfortable although not at peace. I manage my home duties, my money, my relationships so that they stay in crisis and chaos because that is what I am used to. I hadn’t felt I deserved any better. Well, you know what, I know I deserve better because JC came that I may have life and life in abundance. Surely that includes peace and happiness and now I know why I was shooting myself in the foot I intend to step out more consciously to change my life.

I have some great friends online in a Flying group. Two particularly are really good at digging into the root of issues. I had been away for a while due to all our dramas this last 6 months. I joined up again yesterday and right into a deep discussion on finishing. This was exactly what I needed and I am so glad I did it. Funny how we go through seasons and needs change. Right now I need those Flying friends.

Best wishes,
CV